Wah, Wah, Wah...Zip It, Will Ya?

First of all, I have to tell you that my littlest man is being incredibly cute this morning. He’s up early because he’s sick, but today you wouldn’t be able to tell if you couldn’t hear him cough. Yesterday was a different story entirely – sometimes he gets rather mean when he doesn’t feel good. Let’s just say I wound up reinstalling the lock on the fridge, cleaning vanilla coffee creamer out of the couch cushions (move over Fabreeze – there’s a new smell in town), nearly calling Poison Control and finally ditching all my plans for the morning and not letting him out of my site until my husband came home and could share some of the blame – responsibility, I mean. But this morning? Oh, this morning he’s so sweet I just want to hug him all day. “I wub you, Mom-mom,” he told me in the middle of a monologue about Storm Troopers and Curious George. I got airtime when he was thinking about Star Wars! That’s a big deal! And just look at how happy he was about his “pop-tark” a few minutes ago:

Oh, I hope it stays this way today. I do love it when he’s sweet like this.

Ok, so now for what’s really on my mind today. Lent. No, I’m not Catholic, but you don’t have to be to observe Lent. I’ve been thinking about giving something up this year. I probably should give up refined sugar and second helpings (the over-worked waistbands in my jeans would certainly appreciate it), but I have dieting issues that would take the focus off of Jesus and make it all about me. And it’s supposed to be about connecting with Jesus, right?

I got to thinking that I wasn’t quite sure what it was all about, so I looked it up on the Internet. What did the original disciples do without the Internet? Anyway, I found this great site by Beaver Dam Baptist Church in Troy, VA that spelled out everything about Lent. According to their definition (which I believe is the definition), “Lent is a 40-day period of penitence and spiritual self-examination” during which you “spend time in self-examination and spiritual redirection . . . acknowledge[ing] your shortcomings and to seek[ing] forgiveness for where you have fallen in your faith.” Seriously, who doesn’t need 40 days of that in their walk?

So I think I want to be serious about it this year. I need some time of reflection and spiritual redirection. I need to get focused, because the edges are starting to get a little blurry in a few parts of my life. But what can I give up that would bring me to the feet of Christ every single day? Well, my new friends at Beaver Dam say that what you give up for Lent is usually “something that we don’t need but do or use habitually, something that will leave a ‘hole’ in our lives”. I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I think I’ve come up with something, but I honestly don’t know if I can do it. I think I might need to give up complaining.

It’s sad that complaining has become such an ingrained part of my spirit that not only would I struggle to give it up, but I’m also not even sure I can distinguish it enough from my other thoughts and attitudes to be able to target it and pick it out. I complain so much that I might as well give up talking for the next 40 days, but I think that’s precisely why it has to be the thing to go. If I’m looking for spiritual focus, I think this is one indulgence I need to weed out.

It’s funny to think of complaining as an indulgence, isn’t it? That’s what it is, though. It’s a way of pampering your pride – of overfilling your sense of what you think you deserve. Think about it, you wouldn’t complain if you didn’t think you were owed something better than what you’re experiencing, right? People at restaurants don’t complain because they got what they paid for or better, do they? No! They complain when their $25 steak tastes like it came from McDonalds. They paid for better, they expect better, and therefore they “deserve” better.

Yet when I complain, I’m not rebuking a slow waiter or a sub-par chef. No, I’m being ungrateful to the God of the Universe who has given me all I have. That’s sickening to think about – that I’ve become so familiar at taking His gift of this life for granted that I’m not sure I can think otherwise. Yes, I think I need to give up complaining.

But how, exactly? Where do I draw the lines? I mean, is saying, “My son is sick today” a complaint or a statement of fact? I guess it all has to do with my tone of voice and the attitude of my heart. This might really be a tough one, and I’m hesitating to commit to it because I hate failing with a passion. What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t even last a day? Oh wow, am I that cantankerous already?

So I’ve got until sundown tonight to think it through and make a decision. Some of you who have to live with me on a semi-daily basis are saying “Go for it! Please give up complaining! I’ll pay you…I’ll buy you Starbucks and pastries…I’ll do your laundry for a month! Anything!” I know my husband sure would appreciate it. The funny thing is, though, I wonder if 40 days of not saying it out loud would mean I truly would change saying it in my heart. I hope so.

Anyway, I’m off to contemplate (if you have any thoughts, I’d love to hear them – just post a comment below). I’m going to try hard not to take “Fat Tuesday” literally, but I might. By the way, iHop is changing National Pancake Day (usually on Fat Tuesday, aka Shrove Tuesday, I believe) to next Tuesday, February 12th. They give away free pancakes! Seriously! Check it out on their site by clicking here. That being said, I’m going to go eat breakfast…