Breathing Deep

Sometimes at the end of the day when I'm tucking the boys into bed, I'll ask them what their favorite part of the day was. They'll take a few seconds to think, and then their eyes will light up as they give their answer. I love hearing about their favorite part of the day, even if it's the exact same favorite part of the day before. I've worked with teenagers long enough to know that the time is rapidly approaching when they won't want to readily tell me about any part of their day, so it's something I try to treasure up in my heart.

If someone had asked me yesterday what my favorite part of the day was, I wouldn't have even had to think. By far the most outstanding part of my day was sitting with Little Man on the couch after his nap. Our airconditioner is broken, so during the day we have the windows open and several fans blowing, creating a very peaceful mixture of white noise and nature sounds. Nothing could have brought me more joy at that moment than sitting with him snuggled on my lap, taking in the peace and the stillness that was all around us.

We sat that way for at least fifteen minutes before either of us spoke a word. Oh how I wish there were more moments like that in our week! No whining or complaining, no tears, no punishments, no accidents....just peace - peace that was being shared together. At times it seems like nothing in my life feels greater than moments like those. To just hold him and feel him in my arms and smell his little boy smell and kiss him on the bridge of the nose... These are the memories I will carry with me forever!

But you know, the more I thought about how much I enjoyed that time with my son, the more I realized that God cherishes the same moments with us. How many times a day must He long for us to simply sit down, be quiet and snuggle up to Him?

I'm so thankful today for the God who knows me better than I know myself and who cherishes nothing more than time He gets to spend with me. I'm looking forward to the next moment I get to simply sit with Him and breathe in the peace that surrounds us.

As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to take one of those moments right now. Care to join us?

Why We Didn't Get To Eat Japanese (and other stories) Part 2

Ok, so you’ve heard about Friday (if you haven’t, read about it here). I told you it was just the beginning…

Saturday morning we woke up and went to get haircuts. When we came back, we noticed that Big Brother was starting to run a fever. Of course, it would make sense that he would come down with a sinus infection just like Little Man had the previous week. Bummer, but manageable.

By that evening he was feeling pretty warm, so we gave him some Tylenol and went to the store to buy a thermometer. It was getting obvious that church on Sunday morning was out for at least one of us, but it still wasn’t unchartered territory. We’ve done fevers before.

It did kind of bother me a little that he didn’t have any other symptoms – no runny nose, no coughing, nothing – but I just passed it off as a quirky illness that would probably run its course. We even went out for lunch with the family on Sunday and then went shopping at Kohl’s (I know – Mother Of The Year – you can nominate me later and I’ll mention you in my acceptance speech…). He was feeling pretty good thanks to Tylenol, so we thought we’d be in the clear soon. After all, it had been well over 24 hours and no other symptoms had crept up, so maybe it was just some kind of virus and it would all be over soon.

Or maybe not. We hadn’t hit Sunday night yet.

By Sunday evening his fever was up to 104.9 and he was pretty miserable. I don’t think he’s ever run a fever that high before, and it was a little scary. We called our friend (who just so happens to be his pediatrician and an amazing person to answer our phone calls) and asked him if we should be panicked by such a high fever. He asked some questions and then assured us that warranted panicking had less to do with numbers and a lot more to do with behavior. Was he out of sorts? Lethargic? Vomiting? If not, it would probably be ok just to watch it. If he started any of that other stuff, though – especially the vomiting – then we’d have to go to an urgent care.

I bet you can guess what happened at about 12:30 in the morning.

And again at 8:00 (times three).

Ok, off to the urgent care we go. He was sick – really sick. It took 5 hours, a urinalysis, a chest x-
ray, three tubes of blood work, and two shots before they let us go home with a couple of prescriptions. They had nothing more to tell us than he was sick with some kind of bacterial infection and that we needed to follow up with his pediatrician back home if he didn’t get much better. They felt so sorry for him, though, that they gave him two popsicles, a stack of stickers and a stuffed animal.

At least now we had some antibiotics on board, so things would get better, right? We took a car ride through an animal park, knowing that we couldn’t do anything that required him to walk or be around other people. He seemed to be feeling better, and we had a blast dodging ostriches and feeding pigs and zebras from our window. A good time was had by all, but by that night things got a lot worse.

The 104.9 fever was back, along with screams of stomach pain and burning eyes. I was so scared to see him like this that at one point I was in tears. He definitely wasn’t better, and I wasn’t sure what to even do to bring him a little comfort. We called our friend again and were told what to watch for incase we needed to take him to the emergency room. Beyond that, he said, we would need to leave a little earlier than planned and come on home.

Praise God, we got the fever down with Tylenol and a bath, so we didn’t have to go to the emergency room. The next morning we packed up and headed home a little early, making it to the pediatrician’s office just before closing. By then his nose had started to run just a little and his eyes were a bright cherry red. With still no great explanation other than a bacterial infection (there just wasn’t any other evidence of anything else), he got two more shots and we went home to monitor the fever and rest.

By the next morning the fever had peaked at a strong 102.8 (where it would stay for the next couple of days), and both eyes showed signs of pink eye. Later that afternoon his right eye would nearly swell shut with infection, and his nose would finally start running a little, but ironically he was improving. By then we had started oral antibiotics and the light at the end of the tunnel was finally growing bigger.

So there we were, fall break pretty much over, a limping van, a recovering kid, and a pile of homework yet to be done (homework over break in KINDERGARTEN – what the world?!?!?!). But we were all alive and at home (not lying in a hospital), so it could have been worse. Maybe next year, though, we’ll have one of those “stay-cations” people are so fond of these days.

Come to think of it, staying home sounds like a great idea…

With any luck they'll open a Nagano's in Tennessee.

Why We Didn't Get To Eat Japanese (and other stories)

Wow – we have had quite the adventure over the past few days. It’s fall break around here, which is apparently an invitation to chaos in our family. Who knew.

It all started with a trip home to North Carolina to see Shane’s parents. We were so excited to get away and to see family and friends that it didn’t even phase us when we started to notice a strange noise coming from the van. We pulled over on an exit ramp and discovered a flat tire. No problem – we’d just change it and be on our way. After all, there was still plenty of time to make it to our favorite Japanese restaurant for dinner, so what was the rush?

Well, someone forgot to tell the spare tire about Nagano’s amazing shrimp sauce and carrots. We tried to fix things on our own, but the wench mechanism holding the tire to the bottom of the car was broken. Still, no problem. AAA was just a call away, they’d come and save us in time!

An hour later we had been through all the alphabet flash cards with the boys and were making up new forms of “I Spy” to pass the time when “Bud” (aka Larry the Cable Guy’s not-so-distant cousin) showed up in the flatbed tow truck. Finally! He’d have the tools we needed and – though dinner would be late – hibachi steak was still on the map.

Only he couldn’t get it to budge either. There would be no “road-side assistance” – we were going to have to take it into “town” to a buddy of his who agreed to open up his shop just for us (“’cuz they ain’t nothin’ open ‘round these parts after 5 or on the weekends…”). So we agreed to load the van on the truck and climb aboard. He told us there was plenty of room – Shane and I could sit up front with him and the kids could sit “in the back” behind the seats. I was thinking jump seats. He was thinking piles of toolboxes and cables. And to think I was worried that they wouldn’t have car seats….seat belts would have been nice. Heck, seats would have been awesome.

It was after we finally got rolling that we learned “Bud’s” buddy wouldn’t be able to meet us for another hour or so. In that case, why not make another stop? It was off to a trailer park to unlock a car door. Yeah, awkward… but whatever, right? At this point, though, Nagano’s was looking doubtful. Although, if it was up to Buddy we were going to make it – he had no problem going 80 down the interstate and 30 around hairpin mountain road turns. Forget Halloween, the nightmares came early for us this year.

So we unlocked the Johnson’s car and headed “into town” to the tire shop (or, rather, we drove into the middle of nowhere to a freestanding garage). There we met “the King” (I can only assume that was his name – after all, it was tattooed in rather large script on his forearm….but not on the same arm as the Cadillac symbol, of course). The King reminded me a little of Eminem and a kid we once knew, and he turned out to be a really decent guy who knew a whole heck of a lot about tires (information which he gladly imparted to us – if the whole writing and speaking thing doesn’t work out for me, I think I’m well prepped for a career in the tire business).

The King set in on our tire and soon hit a new snag: One of the three different sizes of lug nuts on the tire was stuck. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get it off. Bud stepped in to help, but they were getting nowhere fast. Then the King seemed to remember some magic stuff in a spray can and used that to finally free up the situation.

Once the tire was off we could see that it sported a hole certainly big enough to pass a dime through piggy bank style. It took several more minutes (and a lot more instruction) to patch another old tire and fit it to the van. By the time we left, Nagano’s (which was still an hour away) was minutes from closing and Hardee’s was sounding like very viable competition.

So in the end, we endangered our kids’ lives and spent $60 to take a three hour detour into the Neverland of tow trucks and spare tires in the mountains of North Carolina. I have to admit, though, that the whole time I was feeling a sense of peace and patience that certainly surpassed understanding (which immediately meant to me that it had to be from God). Maybe He was keeping us from something. A wreck? A horrible act of nature? Food poisoning at our favorite restaurant? Who knows. Somehow it all just felt like part of the plan. So we ate a heatlamped thick burger at 9:45 instead of steak and mushrooms covered with shrimp sauce (mmmm…), so what? So we got to Shane’s parents house sometime around 11, no big deal. No one was hurt and our van was drivable (even though it has a used, patched tire on it). Things were really ok.

Too bad it was just the beginning….

I’ll be back later with more of the story.

I Want It All

I was at a women’s conference not too long ago and heard the speaker say that her husband tells the Lord every day that he wants all He has for him for that day, and if there is someone who doesn’t want their portion he’ll take it too. I thought it was cute and funny, but I didn’t realize that God would use it to spur my spiritual life more than anything else that I heard that day.

I’m not used to asking for things that I want. For reasons that I won’t go into on the internet, I’ve never been comfortable asking for what I want, but I think it is mostly because for a long time I have been under the impression that I’m not worth the cost of most things that catch my eye (whether that cost be financial or simple physical effort). I guess I’ve always sort of believed that it was wrong to put someone out for something that I didn’t deserve in the first place (which, by the way, has made it a constant struggle to accept God’s free gift of grace).

It suddenly occurred to me the day of that conference, though, that each and every day of my life, God has preordained blessings that He has set aside just for me. It’s not selfish to ask Him for what He has already decided to give me! In fact, I bet nothing brings Him greater joy than a child who wants to receive every ounce of the full life He died to give her.

Not taking every blessing He offers would be like being offered a gigantic piece of cake on your birthday and only taking one small bite in the name of “being polite”. Not only are you insulting the host and causing the rest of the slice of cake to be thrown out, but you’re missing out on the gift that was made just for you!

It’s going to take a while to sink in, but I have to come to a place of realizing that God has blessings lined up for me every day, and that He’s already paid a price for them that He says I am totally worth. Old habits are hard to break, even if they are the habits of not doing something. Somehow, though, I want to get in the habit of asking God for everything He has for me – every word, every conviction, every whisper, every miracle – I don’t want to miss out on a crumb of blessing!

How about you? Has it ever occurred to you that God has piles of blessings marked with your name, and that it isn’t selfish to simply ask for them?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one. If you’re new to blogging and have never left a comment before, just click on the little line below this that says “__ Comments” (that blank will be some kind of number). You don’t have to have a blogger profile to do this – you can comment anonymously and simply type your name in your comment. Be sure to leave your email address if you want me to respond to your comment though!

Appointed

I had the privilege of speaking to a women’s luncheon today about the freedom we have in Jesus from the sins that threaten to enslave us. Even though it wasn’t the best, most professional talk I’ve ever given (I lost my place like 3 times and totally drew a blank at the end – that’s never happened before), I know and believe that God had a word for someone there. I believe that not only because He spoke a specific word into my heart for this talk, but also because of the level of spiritual opposition I faced this past week as I prepared.

There were distractions galore, and missed writing days (for the second week in a row) that I had to try and find time to make up. Then Little Man got sick and was not only miserable, but unable to go to preschool (again, no time to prepare). Add on top of that not feeling too great myself, the doubts upon doubts that plagued me (to the point of doubting my doubts…which is really ridiculous), and the fact that the air conditioner in our house broke last night and I couldn’t sleep because it was so hot. Yeah, I’d say someone was trying to derail my train of thought, wouldn’t you?

I was feeling a little distracted and out of it right up to the time of speaking today. As always, I got to the place early so I could have a moment to gather my thoughts and pray. I love that time – it’s kind of the “point of no return”. The event’s about to start and you are absolutely as prepared as you are ever going to get. It’s just time to stop and give it all over to the Lord.
So I was sitting there praying, and I had a bit of an epiphany as I heard myself praying these words: Lord, I know that You have appointed this time and this place to speak. You have appointed these people and You have appointed the message I am about to deliver to them. You have a plan, and I know that You will not disappoint those You have prepared for this day…

It seems like such a silly thing to think of, but I guess I was just so worried about messing up and being disappointed (or others being disappointed in me), that I guess I just needed to hear out loud that whatever God Ordains and sets into motion, He won’t take back. Whatever He appoints He won’t then dis-appoint. I know that seems like stretching when I actually write it out, but it was pretty profound to me at the time.

Now that the talk is over and it didn’t exactly go the way I had envisioned it, I’m realizing that even if I feel “disappointed”, God carried through with exactly what He had planned. Whoever He appointed to be there and hear His word heard it, and the things He wanted to begin in her life were set in motion. Because God is good, and He can accomplish miracles through even our greatest debacles.

So I guess I’m writing this to say that if God has called you to do something – big or small – carry through with it, even if you think it’s going to be a disaster. Be faithful and obedient to His call in your life because if He has ordained it, He has a plan that He will carry through in spite of anything you might do. Just remember – it’s not about you, it’s all about Him.

I’m amazed tonight at how wonderful He is, and so thankful that He is the great I AM.

-Samantha