Our oldest son got a “let’s try this again” re-start on his fish tank for his birthday this past December. The tank and one red beta with a slight purple hue named Purple Haze or “Haze” for short, was originally a gift for his birthday the year before, but had been retired in the fall when Haze committed suicide by swimming down the filter hose and getting stuck (which I guess answers the age-old question, “Can fish drown?” Apparently, yes, they can).
Well, we stocked it this time around with fancy guppies and a little sucker fish to take care of any algae. We should have known that we are in the wrong pet business when the first two guppies left this life very shortly after purchase. The second two – Siggy and Thiggy (note that “Thiggy” is pronounced with a v-like “th” at the beginning, like in the word “Southern” as said here in the South…note also that these are the kind of names that result from letting your five year-old have free reign with proper pronouns) – well they were doing great. Until the other morning, that is.
We woke to find Siggy “sleeping” on the bottom of the tank (upside down, mind you) and Thiggy not looking so hot. “Sucker” – the only one who didn’t get a proper name but really, really needs one since we have at least one child who struggles with saying “F” instead of “S” – was doing just great, oblivious to the anguish of his two roommates and still busy trying to suck the fake algae off the plastic rock formation (he’s not a genius…maybe we should start calling him Einstein for fun…).
I should mention that up to this point we thought Thiggy had some sort of fish scoliosis. Since the time he moved in our house, he had grown a hump and developed a slight curve in his tail. Now, though, that curve had bent him into a complete “S”, he had grown some kind of white coating on his fins, and he was struggling to stay at the surface like he was bobbing for air. You know it’s got to be bad when the fish want out of the tank. Poor guy…if only Haze had left a note or something maybe we would have known…
So we scooped up a water sample and took it to Pet Smart. I described Thiggy’s condition, and do you know what Marcus the Fish Guy said? He said our fish was stressed. I’m not kidding – the fish is stressed. All I could think was, Oh yeah? Well me too my little scaly pal – me too! Then he tested the water and said that our water conditioner wasn’t working. Apparently Siggy and his two fancy guppy predecessors had suffocated to death because there was too many nitrates in the water. Again, I’m not kidding – the fish died of suffocation. I know…you learn something new every day.
So what’s the treatment for a stressed-out fish? Well, basically a spa bath. New, clean water with the right conditioner added, a teaspoon of aquarium salt, and a drop of medicine that makes the water turn a very relaxing tropical blue. So now Thiggy is well on the mend, with his complexion clearing and his tail straightening more and more by the hour. I, in the meantime, am left buzzing with the irony that I just spent $12 on a facial and salt bath to rescue the stressed little life of a $2.45 fish. Hmmm….
I feel I should mention that Sucker (perhaps soon to be known as Einstein) didn’t fair as well through the treatments. I had to chase him quite a bit with the net to set him aside for the water change, and he consequently has a bit of paranoid schizophrenia about him now (hey, if they can drown, suffocate and get stressed, why can’t they be schizophrenic to boot?). Last night when I walked by to check on him he must have heard me coming because he took off and shot around the tank like a high bounce ball in a stairwell. When he finally calmed down and landed he was actually panting – it was very odd. Oh well, hopefully he will find the subsequent salt baths that are now scheduled on a weekly basis beneficial.
Can you believe, though, that we’re set to buy two new roommates for Thiggy and Sucker next week? Oh the lessons we never learn…
Well, we stocked it this time around with fancy guppies and a little sucker fish to take care of any algae. We should have known that we are in the wrong pet business when the first two guppies left this life very shortly after purchase. The second two – Siggy and Thiggy (note that “Thiggy” is pronounced with a v-like “th” at the beginning, like in the word “Southern” as said here in the South…note also that these are the kind of names that result from letting your five year-old have free reign with proper pronouns) – well they were doing great. Until the other morning, that is.
We woke to find Siggy “sleeping” on the bottom of the tank (upside down, mind you) and Thiggy not looking so hot. “Sucker” – the only one who didn’t get a proper name but really, really needs one since we have at least one child who struggles with saying “F” instead of “S” – was doing just great, oblivious to the anguish of his two roommates and still busy trying to suck the fake algae off the plastic rock formation (he’s not a genius…maybe we should start calling him Einstein for fun…).
I should mention that up to this point we thought Thiggy had some sort of fish scoliosis. Since the time he moved in our house, he had grown a hump and developed a slight curve in his tail. Now, though, that curve had bent him into a complete “S”, he had grown some kind of white coating on his fins, and he was struggling to stay at the surface like he was bobbing for air. You know it’s got to be bad when the fish want out of the tank. Poor guy…if only Haze had left a note or something maybe we would have known…
So we scooped up a water sample and took it to Pet Smart. I described Thiggy’s condition, and do you know what Marcus the Fish Guy said? He said our fish was stressed. I’m not kidding – the fish is stressed. All I could think was, Oh yeah? Well me too my little scaly pal – me too! Then he tested the water and said that our water conditioner wasn’t working. Apparently Siggy and his two fancy guppy predecessors had suffocated to death because there was too many nitrates in the water. Again, I’m not kidding – the fish died of suffocation. I know…you learn something new every day.
So what’s the treatment for a stressed-out fish? Well, basically a spa bath. New, clean water with the right conditioner added, a teaspoon of aquarium salt, and a drop of medicine that makes the water turn a very relaxing tropical blue. So now Thiggy is well on the mend, with his complexion clearing and his tail straightening more and more by the hour. I, in the meantime, am left buzzing with the irony that I just spent $12 on a facial and salt bath to rescue the stressed little life of a $2.45 fish. Hmmm….
I feel I should mention that Sucker (perhaps soon to be known as Einstein) didn’t fair as well through the treatments. I had to chase him quite a bit with the net to set him aside for the water change, and he consequently has a bit of paranoid schizophrenia about him now (hey, if they can drown, suffocate and get stressed, why can’t they be schizophrenic to boot?). Last night when I walked by to check on him he must have heard me coming because he took off and shot around the tank like a high bounce ball in a stairwell. When he finally calmed down and landed he was actually panting – it was very odd. Oh well, hopefully he will find the subsequent salt baths that are now scheduled on a weekly basis beneficial.
Can you believe, though, that we’re set to buy two new roommates for Thiggy and Sucker next week? Oh the lessons we never learn…
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