Oh Yeah Buddy - They're Real

Hey there you insanely faithful readers (I say that because if you’re still hanging in there with me you have to be faithful at this point – I’ve been horrible with keeping up with this blog, but I am trying). Sorry I didn’t get to post anything last week – we went on vacation, and I brought my laptop with me thinking that I’d sneak off and post at some point, only to find that they didn’t have free internet where we were staying! Now, not that writing isn’t worth paying the $9.95 a day fee at least once to post, but the goal here is to make money writing at some point, not to have to pay to do it. So anyway, I’m here now for a quick post and I’ll put up some pictures later of our Spring Break fun for you to enjoy!

In the meantime, I have a bit of a – well, “situation” (for lack of a better term) – that I could use some help with. Little Man’s little imagination has been blooming and budding as of late, and it’s led to some really interesting conversations, one of which I have no idea how to handle.

He’s in this mode of realizing that there could be more to this life than what he just sees with his eyes. He’s realizing that he has feelings, and a heart (and not just the one that he can hear “beeping” after he runs fast), and thoughts and dreams, and the whole thing is just fascinating to him. I admit that some of his concepts are a little fuzzy, like when he told me the other day that I can’t hurt his feelings because “they work at Wal-Mart” (I don’t really even know what that means, but I don’t think it was supposed to be as funny as his daddy and I found it to be…). But some of the things he’s exploring are starting to hedge on some pretty deep theological truths.

I guess to begin, I should say that Little Man has some new friends. “Benbizable” friends, that is. Four of them. Two skeletons, and two black ghosts (yeah, I know, a little morbid, but apparently that’s how his brain works). All four of them are named Squirt. No, not like, Squirt, Squirt, Squirt and Squirt – the unit of friends as a whole is just Squirt, and is often referred to as “he”, but never “they” (I guess almost like a trinity thing here, I don’t know).

So Little Man likes to play with Squirt and talk about Squirt and tell other people about Squirt (“I have Squirt and it’s skeleton, skeleton, black ghost, black ghost…). And when he plays with Squirt his name changes too – suddenly he is no longer Little Man, but Cowboy Squirt Cake.

Yeah, I know. Disturbing. But it gets better.

He also has two other “benbizable” friends, and this is where it gets tricky. These other two are the same benbizable friends that Mommy talks to all the time but he can’t ever see… Can you see where this is going?

So, yeah, his other two benbizable friends are named God and Jesus. Um, yeah, I told you it was tricky. I tried to explain that, unlike Squirt, God and Jesus really are real, but he most certainly thinks I’ve lost my mind. We’ve gone through the questions so many times: “So where is God? Can I touch Him? Can I step on Him? Why can’t I see Him? Why can’t I hear Him? Why can He see me and hear me if He’s not here? How big is He? Can He fit in my bed? Well, can He fit in my bed?” And lately it usually ends this way: “Mommy, just take God with you when you leave – take Him out of my room.”

The other night apparently God didn’t follow me out, so Little Man got out of bed about 30 minutes after bed time and marched into the living room dragging God by the hand. “Now sit here, God – on the couch.” Then he went back to bed and fell asleep.

Oh dear.

So what do you do? On the one hand it’s hard not to laugh when he tells Jesus that He’d better finish all His carrots and clean His plate before He leaves the dinner table, but on the other hand you don’t want to encourage him to think that his heavenly Father and Holy Savior are figments of make-believe (or that at least one of them is something to be freaked out by at night).

The truth of it is, my sweet little confused three year old is asking the same essential question as people 10 to 20 times his age. How do we know that God is real when we can’t see Him or touch Him? Faith, Little Man. Faith is what I tell him. He doesn’t know what that means, really, but to tell you the truth he’s freer to accept it than a lot of those older people are. His mind hasn’t been confused and confined yet by the things that he thinks he can see in this world, and that gives him a great advantage.

I’m scared to death over how to field these deep questions of his, but so excited to see them forming so early in his tiny little brain. If you have any suggestions about how to tactfully distinguish between Squirt and God in a way he might grasp, I’m totally open to comments!

What a weird, wild journey this whole parenting thing is. I’m so thankful, though, that the Lord has a sense of humor and keeps us laughing through these wonderfully strange little creations of His.

Oh, goodness – I just thought of something. “The Lord”? Does Mommy have a third “benbizable” friend that we just haven’t talked much about yet? Hmmm… looks like we might have another one of those deep conversations tonight…

Please Pray for Baby Jonah!

Hey friends! I'm thick in the process of reformatting one of my books for self-publishing on the web, and I have to be honest - my hands are a-killin' me. Carpal Tunnel is such a cruel writing companion...

So being that I really wanted to post something for you today but should be taking a break, I thought I'd post a link to a family who has really been on my mind over the past week or so.

The Williams family from Winston-Salem, NC are friends of friends for us. To put it mildly, they've had a rough go at life over the past year. There first son, Gabe, was still born in April of last year. Then on February 27th, Patrice gave birth to Jonah, a beautiful little guy who has a horrible condition called Epidermolysis Bullosa - a rare skin disorder that causes his skin to blister and peel off at the slightest touch. They can't even really pick him up and hold him, though they finally got to cuddle him through a pile of blankets this past weekend! Can you imagine not being able to touch and hold your newborn baby boy?

I am happy to report that though Jonah is still in a lot of pain, he is doing really well today! He is still in the hospital, and every day is a new challenge as they learn how to feed and care for him, but their thankfulness for each little victory is a testimony to God's greatness.

Patrice is a great blogger, updating with posts every day (sometimes even more than one day), so it's easy to keep track of his progress and know what to pray for on a daily basis!

Please join me and thousands of others in praying for baby Jonah and his parents Patrice and Matt. Their story is one that will both break your heart and inspire your faith. Just click on the link below to visit their site.

Thanks friends, and I'll see you again soon (when I can type more!)

Brace Yourselves

Mmmm… I’m back. That was nice… It’s been a while since we were able to really get away – just the two of us – and since the opportunity presented itself, we went ahead and took advantage of it! I know it was only three-and-a-half days, but it was like a mini second honeymoon to us! Three whole nights of no kids and no alarm clocks! Yay!!!! It was really a special treat, and I’m thankful that my in-laws were able to come and spoil – uh, I mean babysit for us. They’re the best!

So I guess I should offer some kind of explanation for my absence lately (even if it’s a lame one). We’ve been through a nice little round of illnesses – colds, a stomach virus and even walking pneumonia – but that’s not really all that’s kept me away. No, it seems that I was getting too comfortable with this whole new phase of life with kindergarten and all, which naturally meant it was time for another curve ball, right?

No, I’m not pregnant.

( I always have to throw that out there pretty quickly). That being said, this curve ball was one I certainly didn’t see coming.

Remember last May when Little Man nearly broke my jaw by jumping off a stage and bumping heads with me? Well I remember it. I remember it every day because my jaw has never fully healed. I remember it every time I try to eat a sandwich or chew steak or turn my head while I’m yawning. I remember it a lot.

If only we had known that going to a church musical that night was going to cause so much discomfort and pain. If only we had known that showing up to hear those little kids sing was going to result in fairly drastic change in my diet for the foreseeable future. If only we had known that our little outing to the church was going to cost us nearly $6,000 – wait – if only we had known that I think we would have stayed home and sang to ourselves!

Yes, an emergency room visit, two dentists, a chiropractor and an oral surgeon later, it’s come down to this: I have to get braces. Me – little ‘ole going-to-turn-31-in-a-couple-of-weeks me – is going to have to get braces. Ugly Betty, move over!

Well, to be fair, I’m going to the actual orthodontist later this morning, and he will tell me if he’s willing to do it. You see, braces are the only way to correct the damage (something about my teeth not fitting together anymore so my jaw can’t rest and heal), but there is a chance it won’t work at all, and a minor chance that it might make it worse. Permanently. (I just discovered that I have no idea how to spell that last word… I’m going to be how old?)

So the braces are our only shot, but he might not be willing to take them on since it’s such a weird case. I guess we’ll see in a couple of hours, huh? Although I walked out of the dentist office in tears after he explained the situation to me, I’m actually praying now that we can go through with it. Imagine eating a banana without cutting it up first! And apples and steak and Rice Crispy treats – oh my stars Rice Crispy Treats!

But all of that to say that we can’t afford braces, so I’ve had to get a job. The Lord has truly blessed me in this area, really. The day I found out about the braces thing I mentioned it to a girl in our youth group. It just so happens that her mom needs some help with her insurance business and is willing to take me on part-time and let me work from home. I couldn’t ask for a better situation – especially in this economy!

So I’ve already started working, and of course that means that the old schedule has to change yet again. I think I can still make it on Tuesdays to write a quick post (and I might be able to sneak in one or two extras now and then!), but for now all the extra writing I wanted to do is going to have to be on hold. That makes me sad, but hopefully it won’t stay that way. We’ll see – I have a Bible study idea in my head that won’t go away, so He’ll help me carve out time if He wants it written.

Anyway, that’s my long saga / excuse. Some people would say it’s not a very good one (“what’s the big deal? It’s only braces”, I’ve heard). But at 31 braces are kind of life-changing. Especially when it means you have to get a job to pay them and you really need to be putting that “extra” money towards a safer car that your entire family can ride in (instead of only three of you). There’s other things that it changes, but I won’t go into details here. Doesn’t matter anyway, right? It is what it is. And right now, I really am praying that I have to make those changes anyway, because I want my jaw to heal so I can move on with life.

And besides, what’s the worst that can happen? I’d finally have straight teeth? You mean I could eat bananas and smile?

I could live with that!

Still Here!

Ok, I know all of you think I must have fallen off the face of the Earth, but I assure you - I'm still here! We've had a lot going on the past couple of weeks with ilnesses, trips out of town and me starting a part-time job (among other things), so writing has had to take a trip to the back burner for a minute.

I really wanted to sit down and write you a great post this morning, but I have to be honest about something: I'm in the mountains with my husband celebrating our ninth anniversary, and I'm a bit...well...distracted. I can't think of anything to write about but him, and yet I can't find a way to put it all into words without spending our entire weekend typing (it would take that long!).

So, I'm just popping in to say that I'm still alive and I haven't forgotten about blogging. But, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go spend some more time with my husband. I will be back - but not until the second honeymoon is over... ;-)

See you then!

Little Man, Big Personality

I just wanted to post this morning to let you know how much (for the moment, anyway), I’m enjoying my three year old. I know he doesn’t get a lot of great press on here sometimes, but he really is a fun kid to be around! There is truly never a dull moment with him.

Just to give a few examples, yesterday at church he told all the teachers in his preschool class that I had a baby in my belly. It took me nearly all day to dispel that rumor. But I do have to give him credit – he knows what (he thinks) he wants, and he knows (how he thinks) to get it! I keep trying to tell him that he probably wouldn’t enjoy the baby so much when it came out of my belly, but he doesn’t get it yet. I also told him that if he really wants that to happen, he has to talk to Jesus and Daddy, and not necessarily in that order.

Then this morning I looked up to see him making a funny face and pushing his arms through the air in rhythm. When I asked him what he was doing he look at me like I was the obviously weird one, and said, “I’m swimming! And now I’m going to swim downstairs! Bye Mom!” Then he really did it – he “swam” all the way downstairs. And I have no doubt that he kept “swimming” long after I couldn’t see him!

Just a few minutes ago he was sitting next to me watching me type and had his hands between his knees. I guess he must have banged his knees together and hurt his finger a little, because he suddenly said, “Ow! Mom – my leg elbows just hurt my finger!” Leg elbows? Well, that’s classic Little Man for you!

Of course in the midst of all this fun there still is that other side of Little Man: washing his hands in the toilet this morning; sneaking an apple juice slush from Sonic into his bed last night so that he woke up in a dream-shattering icy pool somewhere around midnight; and most recently climbing on a bathroom stool on top of a chair in the kitchen to try and reach the candy stash. Oh yeah – trouble time.

So think of all the things you just read, and marinate in the fact that all of this happened within the last 24 hours, most of it in the last 4. Yeah, our days are colorful to say the least!

I’m thanking the Lord this morning for my very active, very not-boring three year old! He keeps me on my toes!

Forecast: More Rain? Not So Much...

Hello bloggy friends! It’s Monday evening, and I’m looking out my window at a blanket of very white, very fluffy “rain” that fell all afternoon. About an inch or so of it, in fact. It’s beautiful!

Several days ago the weather man warned us that there might be a “big snow” coming our way if two different fronts collided just right. I watched and waited with great anticipation, calculating how it would change my week to have a few snow days thrown in. Then, the closer it got to storm time, the more we heard about things moving off to the east and there not being much in it for us but a few rain showers and a possible flurry or two.

I watched the weather again this morning to hear that our forecast was merely wet and dreary for the next couple of days, and that sadly there wouldn’t be a winter wonderland in store for us at all. Mentally I reset my week back to “normal” mode and packed up Little Man for a trip to the chiropractor and a quick jaunt to the play place at the mall. What else are you going to do on a rainy day, right?

But less than an hour after hearing that disappointing prediction from not one, but two weather sources, the rain drops splattering against my windshield slowly began to turn white and stick in between swipes of the wiper blades. Within minutes flakes as big as grapes were slapping against our windows, and the entire countenance of the day began to change.

The weatherman may have been wrong today about the rain, but I’m glad. We’ve had our fair share of showers lately, and frankly I’m a little over it (I’d never make it in Oregon – sorry, Edward Cullen…). Snow I can handle. There is nothing quite as peaceful to me as a good snow. In fact, one of my favorite sounds in the world is the soft, clean sound of a snowfall (another is the sound of hundreds of people turning pages in their Bibles all at once – completely unrelated to what I’m talking about, but it truly delights my soul!). But rain? I have a hard time with rain. It’s hard for me to get up and get moving on rainy days. I get sad and tired, and I don’t feel like doing much of anything.

The past few weeks it seems like my mind has been stuck in a bit of a rainy day feeling even when the sun has dared to come out of hiding. So when I heard that prediction of even more rain, it kind of made me feel emotionally constrained to all these feelings I’ve been having lately. You know, like the rain might never end and I might never feel like getting up and doing anything. It just seemed like the emotional forecast was going to be just as set as the one for our weather – cold rain and lots of clouds.

But then it started snowing instead, and I learned that not even those who are trained to predict the future can truly ever know what God has in store for us. Sure, it may look by all accounts like it’s going to rain buckets without a flake or sunray in sight. It may even be a meteorological “certainty” according to all the technology and instruments we have in play. But God is God. And nothing is impossible for Him. Nothing! And – I dare say – no one is as delightfully unpredictable as He is!

So, as I’ve sat here writing this (and babbling on about nothing that even remotely makes sense, I’m sure), I’ve taken a pause or two to look out at the Lord’s quiet reminder to me that He alone is God. I’ve even caught the sun shining for a moment, believe it or not. And I’ve stored up in my heart the knowledge that none of us can predict what God has in store for us from one moment to the next. Sure, it may still feel like it’s raining in my heart, but it won’t be like that forever. At some point, when I least expect it, God will send change my way in the unstoppable form of a peaceful snow, or a sun-filled breeze, or even a tornado that brings me perspective. It won’t rain forever. And it certainly won’t rain just because I expect it to.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for being the intimate lover of my soul and the One True God.

Jesus Doesn't Have A Long Distance Carrier

Sometimes when I go to the preschool to pick up Little Man, I’ll find that his teacher has posted a little note about something cute that happened or was said in the classroom that day or the day before. I love reading about the funny things three year olds come up with – they can be hilarious little people!

When I dropped Little Man off this morning, the note posted on the wall involved Little Man himself, as well as another boy I’ll call Buddy. It apparently happened during play time, and it went something like this:

Little Man (handing a pretend phone to his teacher, Ms. A): “Here Ms. A, it’s your mom.”

Ms. A (who has a great sense of humor): “Well, it must be long distance, because she’s in Heaven!”

Buddy: “Well, that’s not too long for Jesus!”

Amen, little buddy, amen.

I just wanted to share that little story with you today, and use it as a little reminder that nothing – nothing – “neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation” could ever, ever separate us from the love of Jesus (Romans 8:38-39).

May the words said during the play of a couple of funny three year olds remind you of the words of our Father and encourage your heart today. Nothing’s too long for Jesus! Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances today, He’s right there with you, and he’s not going anywhere – you can count on that.