Sometimes Hyenas Are No Laughing Matter

Monday was a teacher work day at school (otherwise known to my son as a “get out of jail free” day), so my man took a much-needed personal day and the four of us spent some family time together at the zoo. Though we’ve been to the zoo many, many times and I’ve never noticed this before, I discovered something interesting about myself this visit: I think I have a lot in common with hyenas.

Now I wish I could say that I came about this comparison because I laugh a lot, or because I can be pretty rambunctious and playful. But I’m afraid the analogy runs to a deeper, more primal place of animal behavior, and I can’t say I’m proud of it.

In my ladies’ Bible study right now we are going through Beth Moore’s study on the Patriarchs (I highly recommend it, by the way, but then again – it’s Beth Moore….I highly recommend anything God shares through her). Last week during the video session, Beth spoke about how we, who are fully and purposefully blessed by God, tend to always want someone else’s blessing instead of our own. We have a great family, but hers is bigger. We have a ministry God has called us to, but we wish there was a little more to it. Our house is nice, but… You get the picture.

Beth encouraged us that while this is a common human experience, we need to confront this kind of spiritual jealousy head-on and get rid of it, because it gets in the way of us accepting, appreciating and participating in the call God has specifically placed on our lives for His purposes. Her words pricked my heart, and I began to see that I had a lot of work to do in this area. I vowed to think more about it later, and then tried to let it slip my mind so I wouldn’t have to.

Then I found myself standing in front of the hyena and wild dog exhibit at the zoo Monday morning, and it all came to me in a way I couldn’t avoid.

One of the zoo keepers was preparing to feed them a treat as we got there, so we stuck around for a minute to see what would happen. She threw three boxes about the size and shape of a to-go box from a chicken place into the pen – one for each hyena present – and let them go at it.

Immediately the youngest two hyenas dashed for the prizes. They each grabbed a box and started to tear into it to find the meat, but then one of them realized there was a third box that the older hyena hadn’t gotten to yet. He then left his own box to steal the unclaimed one, and the real games began.

Both of the younger hyenas would only spend a few, short seconds trying to get to the meat before they would realize that the other one was either making progress on his box, or had left the third box completely unguarded. Then they would once again abandon their own box to try and steal another. This went on and on until eventually they had pecked at some of the boxed enough that there was actually some meat exposed. Wanna know what they did then? Did they give up the fight and enjoy the spoils of plunder? No way! They left the meat on the ground and kept trying to steal more for themselves!

I watched their silly little antics unfold, and realized that in my spirit lately I haven’t behaved much better than them. You see, I have my blessings – blessings that God has given just to me for a very specific purpose according to the things He desires to do through my life on this earth. He has been so good to me in so many undeserved ways, and yet I sulk and pout about what it is I think I don’t have.

I know the ugly truth of my hyena heart every time I find it hard to rejoice with my friends over the great things the Lord has done in their lives, and all too easy to sit back and wonder how great it would be if that happened to me instead. I know that sounds horrible, and I’m really ashamed to admit it, but it is the naked truth in my life right now. I’ve been given a perfectly good box with a delicious piece of the Lord’s blessing inside, but instead of enjoying it and digging in, I’ve been chasing after the boxes of others I somehow hope have been left unguarded.

Now I’m not trying to say that I’m a vicious opportunist, or a lying manipulator or anything. I’d like to think I’m pretty good about keeping my sin to myself, and I hope I haven’t outwardly hurt anyone with my ambitions. The truth remains, however, that I have been ambitious in things that aren’t my own to pursue. I have had my eyes on boxes that don’t belong to me, and because of it I’ve overlooked my own blessing and have dared to leave it even partially unguarded.

Lysa Terkeurst says that whenever you find yourself wishing you had another’s blessing instead of your own, you should remind yourself that you aren’t equipped to handle whatever it is she faces on a daily basis, both good and bad. I believe that. God has equipped each of us to respond to His specific call on our lives, and we will only fail if we abandon His perfect plan and try to fill someone else’s shoes. I know this, but I’m looking forward to the day that my heart finally catches up with my head.

Anyway, I hope to encourage you today to look at the state of your own heart. Are you content with your “box” of blessings from the Lord? Or do you too struggle with a hyena heart that seems to always grapple for what your neighbor has? Ask God to show you by way of helping you realize all He has given you in this life. Take some time today to breathe in the joy of undeserved blessings, and to rest in the knowledge that God has a plan for this life that is just for you.

Thanks for reading, and for letting me have a moment of confession. I hope you have a truly blessed week.