Embracing Life

I’ve been embraced. Or at least that’s what my orthodontist calls it. Sounds all warm and fuzzy, doesn’t it? Well, I can tell you all this metal in my mouth is neither warm nor fuzzy, but it’s not horrible either.

It all started a year ago with Little Man’s head and mine having a bit of a disagreement over who should control a particular segment of airspace (he won, by the way – you can read about it here). And now, almost one year to the day later, I’ve been transformed overnight from a young-looking 31 year old, to the mom who gets strange looks at the mall because people are trying to do the math in their head (“Well, she looks 14, but that kid has to be at least 6… Oh dear, Martha! Is that even possible?”). Joy of all joys.

The hope is that the braces will realign my teeth so that they will fit together again (they haven’t fit together right since the “incident”), and then my jaw can finally heal. The only kicker is that they had to put in these things on the back of my front two top teeth called “bite turbos” that, while sounding really cool, are incredibly annoying. They stop me from biting down and snapping off my bottom brackets, but it also means that my back teeth don’t touch. At all. Which means I can’t chew. At all. It’s only been a couple of days, but seriously, how many smoothies, milk shakes and Slim Fasts can a girl handle? Good diet plan, though – I’ve already lost a pound and a half.

The turbos also serve another purpose – I think they are intentionally shaped the way they are because some dental engineer needed revenge on all the kids who made fun of his smooshy, spit-filled lisp growing up. I can’t even come close to saying the letter s right. And yes, that was me standing in front of the mirror Tuesday afternoon saying “slippery snakes” over and over again. It didn’t change anything, in case you were wondering…

But this is how I know God has an incredible sense of humor. Not only do I get to watch all those funny expressions on the faces of confused moms in public, but I just got invited to prayerfully consider accepting my biggest speaking assignment ever. Coincidence? I think not. It’s been months since I’ve spoken to adults, and now I get invited to co-lead a women’s conference this fall. You know, now that I can’t say anything with an s in it? Very funny, Lord. Hilarious even. Just remember, Your name has two s’s in it, so…

So anyway, just wanted to give you a little update on this crazy little world that is mine. It’s never boring, that’s for sure! I’m off now to find something I can eat without chewing….something other than a Slim Fast. Wish me luck!