Monday, May 25, 2009

Giants

Giants y’all. I’m talking big ones. There’s three of them lurking around my life right now. Make no mistake – one’s been here for a while. In fact, I’m kind of getting used to him. I don’t like that he’s here, but he’s not really my giant to get rid of. In that sense I guess it’s kind of an arranged thing, and we’ve learned to tolerate each other for now. I’ve thought about naming him, but my mom always said that when you name stray animals you wind up wanting to keep them. Trust me, I don’t want to keep this one. So No Name it is.

The second giant to arrive got here about a week or so ago. He’s all mine this time, but he’s not the kind of giant that poses an obstacle. No, this guy is just here to torment me, and to make me think that the task that lies ahead is more daunting and impossible than it really is with Christ on my side. This giant is just a bully, and I’m trying my best to find the nerve to simply tell him to get out of my way. I’m allowed to do that, you know – he is my bully giant. He’s just really tall…and really mean…so it might take a while.

The third giant, well, he’s my least favorite kind. He’s the kind that stands right in the middle of the pathway to your dreams and says, “Thou shall not pass” in his booming giant voice. This giant just got here Saturday.

I tell you, there is nothing quite as disappointing as thinking you are virtually moments away from achieving a dream, only to find that the road is closed by an unmovable force with big, ugly feet. It makes you want to quit. It makes you want to turn around and give up, using what little energy you have left to cry and mope and feel sorry for yourself. I mean, this one is there because someone else hired him to be there. He’s not moving, no matter how much I beg. He’s my problem, but he’s definitely their giant, and he’s not taking orders from anyone else. Continuing on seems impossible, or at least highly improbable at best.

But continuing on is exactly what my husband says I should do, so I guess I’m gonna do it.

At first when he said it I was a little angry. I spent a lot of effort and time trying to get him to understand just how tall this giant is, but he wasn’t hearing it. And then, in a moment of sarcasm (I have a lot of those, by the way), I said something that actually gave me hope.

Maybe – just maybe – that giant isn’t really standing in my way. Maybe he’s there to put me on his shoulders so I can reach higher than I ever thought possible.

You see, he may not be my giant to boss around, and he may be really, really tall and impervious to persuasion, but he is nowhere close to being bigger than God. And if God wants me to achieve this dream of mine, He’ll make it happen – even if He has to use a giant to get it done.

So, I’m choosing to do everything I still can on this side of the giant to reach my goal. Then, when I can go no further on my own, I’ll butter him up and ask him for a huge favor. Who knows? He might even grant me one. But even if he doesn’t, I’ll know that it wasn’t him who ultimately held me back (for what’s a giant compared to God?). If that’s the case, I’ll know that my Father has a perfect plan for my future – one full of hope and life – that involves another dream I should be pursuing. Maybe, in that sense, He will have used this giant as a bit of a directional sign to reroute my path.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter what happens in this situation. What matters is that my path ultimately brings glory to the name of God, no matter where it leads. For His renown is the whole point of this life of mine, and He owns the entire journey to that end – giants and all.

On that note, if you’ll excuse me I think I’ll go set up camp at the feet of that giant and get to work finishing what I started. Oh, and then I guess I’ll take a break and go arm wrestle that bully for a while…


3 comments:

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I enjoyed reading your blog today.

Be sure and stop by my blog and sign up for the "10 Giveaways" that I will draw for on Wednesday.
Also, please pray for sweet Maggie as she returns to St Jude's this week. Would love for you to grab her button for your blog...

On Purpose said...

I am cheering you on in this battle as you fight...knowing that God will reward your perserverance, competitiveness, and commitment!

Jami said...

Sam - I'm excited to see where God leads you! I LOVED talking to you today...just a minute or so actually!

I'll be praying for you my dear friend!