I saw it coming last night. Little Brother had the same fever (only slightly higher) yesterday, and all my plans I had that day were put on hold too. When his face cooled down and his demeanor perked up late yesterday afternoon, though, I started to get my hopes up. Perhaps my plans would only be held hostage for one day. Then, right before I went to bed, I realized how silly I was being. Big Brother had his first ever field trip today – of course he was going to get sick.
I guess I should be thankful that he’s not really, really sick. Yes, he has a fever, but just like the little man yesterday, he doesn’t feel bad – at all. He’d rather be out doing something. I’m trying to be the “responsible” mom, though, and make him stay in and rest. So we’ve watched a movie (or two), played dinosaurs, built a zoo and played around with a video game. Still, I selfishly can’t get those plans out of my head.
Plans are a funny thing, you know. We can’t really not make them, but half the time we are powerless to fully keep them, especially when the plans we made for little ole us seem to conflict with the plans the entire rest of the world made for itself. On days like that some of us seem to feel like we’re entitled to our plans, and we try to make them happen anyway. Quite often the results are disastrous for someone, even if we didn’t even know they were involved. Take, for example, the hypothetical person that may have taken her fever-ridden child to the store last week, placing him in the same cart I later yelled at my kids to stop getting out of. If she had changed her plans instead of stubbornly keeping them, maybe Big Brother would be on his field trip right now. Then again, if I had changed my plans at the grocery store and just let the hooligans walk, maybe it wouldn’t have mattered so much about that first woman’s plans…
I wonder how many times a day God laughs at our plans. I have to think that He finds it at least a little humorous when we presume to know so much about life and what’s going to happen next that we set our hearts on a certain path – often without even the slightest glance in His direction. Sure, you have to be prepared, but when you don’t exactly have an accurate map of where you’re heading, doesn’t it make sense to stop and ask directions? Ok, maybe to a guy it doesn’t make sense, but to us ladies it does.
The Bible says at least two things about plans that come to mind right now. First is in James 4:13-15: “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’” The second thing is in Jeremiah: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord” (29:11, verse, emphasis mine). Both of these passages point me in one inevitable direction: God is bigger than me. And His plans are certainly bigger than anything I write in ink on my weekly calendar.
I wish I knew what it looked like to get up every morning and ask Him what my plans should be for the day. I wish I knew how to be still enough to listen to His voice and brave enough to follow His direction. I bet my life would be a lot more adventurous and meaningful that way. I don’t know what that looks like, though. I honestly don’t know how to ask Him when I should plan on going to the store or if I’m free next Tuesday to hang out with a friend. Maybe it’s not like that, but I like to think of our Dad as the God of details, and I rather think He wants to be involved in even the smallest details of our every day lives – especially the ones we’re specific enough about to spend time planning out.
I don’t know – these are all just random thoughts today. I guess I’m just frustrated because I am a planner, and I can’t stand having my plans changed at the last minute (when there’s no time left to make new plans….it’s a sickness, I know). I can’t help but think that many of my days would go a lot better if I would simply realize that regardless of what I think I want to do, if I give Him control it will all work out for the best – plans or no plans.
I suppose I should note that I started writing this several hours ago. My writing time, however, didn’t go exactly as “planned” (the irony is just killer). Eventually I got it all done though, right? And as for the other things I “needed” to do today? Well, my husband should be home in a few minutes and I’ll finally be free to go get that milk. But there I go again, making new plans…. Oh well, the kids can always drink tea if something else comes up.
Samantha
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