What It All Comes Down To

Last night we had an experience with one of our sons that rocked our world a little bit. I’m sure it won’t be the last time we deal with this issue, but it was most certainly the first time we’ve had to confront it in such a blatant manner.

Last night our son lied to us.

Ok, so he’s lied before – they both have. But never quite so…intentionally. He did something he knew he wasn’t supposed to do, and then he brought it up just so he could tell us that he “didn’t” do it. Too bad he didn’t realize there was a pretty blaring flaw in his alibi that his daddy would (and did) catch immediately after it left his lips.

I’m glad that Dad was in the car, not only because he figured out the truth and we were able to handle it, but also because he was able to actually confront it and announce a fair punishment in a very calm, matter-of-fact voice. I, on the other hand, found myself rather shell-shocked and at a loss for words right at first. I mean, how could this be? My sweet, innocent boy actually premeditating a lie?

We spent the next several minutes walking through what he had done wrong (from the original offense on down through lying about it), and talking about why he shouldn’t lie, how it hurts all of us when he does lie, and how he really has no reason to be mad with us for punishing him because that’s the consequence he chose when he decided to break the rules. I don’t think I have to tell you that it was a long, tearful evening that ended with him asking to go straight to bed instead of taking a shower and eating a snack.

At the end of the night, though, it really all came down to this: I know my son, and I know that he’s a lot like me. I knew that if we left things on a down note, he would beat himself up over all this for the next several days. So before I let him go to sleep I made him look me in the eyes while I told him three separate times, “You are a good boy – you just made a mistake.”

I started to think about it later, and I have a feeling that a lot of us need to hear that. How many times do we do something wrong and then totally beat ourselves up over it because we just can’t let it go? Especially if it is something that we’ve been struggling with not doing? It’s hard to admit that we’ve messed up again, but – if you’re anything like me – it’s even harder, then, to believe that it does not define you as a person.

But you know what? Jesus went to great lengths to come to this earth and die for our sins so we could be a whole lot more than the sum of our mistakes. It’s called grace. And because of it, our Father in Heaven somehow sees us as perfect – covered with the redeeming blood of His son.

Even redeemed people mess up every now and then, though, so just in case you need to hear it, here it is:

You are a good girl – you just messed up.

Now, tell your Daddy you’re sorry and move on, because He’s already let it go. Accept the gift of His grace and rest peacefully tonight knowing that tomorrow is a whole new day full of opportunities to grow and maybe even make a few better decisions.

He loves you, and He’s proud to call you His own.