Change of Plans

Yeah, so I had my plans all laid out this morning – go to Target and finish Christmas shopping, then to Panera to write for a couple of hours before my lunch date. I didn’t even eat breakfast because I was anticipating that pumpkin muffin and hot tea that has become my Tuesday morning fare as of late. Going there seems to be the best way for me to get any writing done.

And then my tire went flat.

I’m thankful that it wasn’t flat (or at least I didn’t notice it being flat) before school, so that Big Brother (much to his dismay) didn’t have to miss anything. No, it made it all the way to Little Man’s preschool, presenting itself in all its pancake-ness to me when I left the building thinking I was finally free to live life on my terms for a while.

So now, instead of eating a muffin and sipping on a hot cuppa to the delightful sounds of classical music and friendly chatter, I’m stuck in a waiting room with half a computer battery and no food, surrounded by the acrid stench of rubber and listening to Handy Manny playing on the TV despite the fact that the only two year old in the room is the only one not even watching. But I’m not bitter….

Actually, I have no right to be bitter. When I sat on my couch this morning and prayed (between sleepy nods as my body tried desperately to drift back into a deep slumber), I told the Lord that He alone is King in my life, and that I wanted to live my life in submission to Him today. I guess He took me seriously, huh?

The truth is that I got up this morning and budgeted my day according to what I thought needed to happen. I pre-spent money and time that wasn’t even really mine in the first place. So what that I thought I was going to sit down and write something for His honor and His glory? If that’s not what He had in mind then who am I to argue?

I thought I was “supposed” to be browsing the aisles of Target and happily clicking away without regard to hunger or a power supply at Panera, but apparently I wasn’t. Apparently I was supposed to spend my morning sitting in a cold, smelly tire shop, waiting to learn just how many Christmas presents I would have had to put back anyway in order to afford the bill that’s coming my way (because with our van, it’s never just a tire). Why? Was that it? The money? Or am I being kept from some horrible, unforeseen accident or an encounter with someone I wasn’t supposed to talk to? On the other hand could I be here to encounter these people for some reason?

Who knows. And who should know, anyway? When God changes our circumstances, it’s because He has a good reason. If He sees fit to share that reason with us, then we should feel blessed. If not, then we should just be thankful that He is the Great I AM, and that He always knows what’s best.

I’m clinging to that thought today, and trying to be thankful for cold waiting rooms and smelly tires. There’s a plan, and it’s much bigger than mine was to go shopping and eat muffins. I just hope I can find it in me to be thankful if that plan eventually involves a gigantic bill….

Oh Father, I love that you’re bigger than me and my little faith!

***Update: Just so you know, it definitely wasn’t just a tire. Apparently that was $645 we didn’t need for anything else! I actually am thankful that we were able to pay it, and that I knew that bill was coming. Remember “The Rule”? Yeah, someone just gave us some cash for Christmas the other day, so I knew something like this would happen. When the guy told me how much the bill was, I just laughed. He apologized for the bad news, but I told him it was ok because I had honestly expected it! I’m just wondering why “The Rule” was a few hundred dollars over what we were given this time…does that mean there’s more cash in our future to fill in the hole? We shall see, we shall see.